Love with Christ’s love

By Hanna and Xavier Bordas,
Love One Another! 2017-38
Christian family

From the Holy Family of Nazareth, we learn unconditional love. In our families, in our marriages we are to love with the love of Christ himself, i.e., supernatural love.

We show our love to Christ when we love one another, love our children and our neighbors, when we pray for them, in particular when we pray together. In this sense we keep his commandment of love when we resist temptation, contritely recognize our sins, apologize and forgive and when, for his sake, we take on the cross of everyday life, patiently bearing the hardships of the day.

Treasure of our marriage

In the Holy Family, relationships were built on supernatural grace. We, however, come to the school of the Holy Family branded with selfishness and pride, which makes our relationships for the large part “mortal”; in other words: we still do not love in the supernatural manner. Our faith is weak so it is difficult for us to see the world with God’s eyes or to discover Christ who has the face of our spouse.

Our marriage was also like that, leading to many misunderstandings, unfulfilled expectations or even harming one another. At times, it was really hard on us. Christ intended to unite our hearts, of husband and wife, along the path of spiritual development which we began to see ahead of us as our faith grew. We received much help from priests, our spiritual fathers. The grace of being members of the community of the Families of Nazareth Movement, where we could share our faith with other couples and listen to the testimonies of others, and which provided support to us as well. Availing ourselves of sacraments and the help God gave us in the community made us learn how to develop ties in a more supernatural manner. Step by step, we discovered the presence of Christ, in particular in our marriage. In this way, the yoke became easy and the burden light. Moving along this path, we are still astonished by the treasure of our marriage. Seeing ever more clearly that the young generation is afraid of taking this path, we wish – despite our weakness – to share the treasure and happiness this incredible sacrament offers.

The essence of love is unselfish giving of this which is the best

We have been created out of Love and for Love

God loves each of us personally with infinite love. He wishes to share with us his Love so that we can participate forever in the life of the Holy Trinity. He created us out of love and wants us to learn how to love as He does. To enable us to grow towards this Love, he provides us with the best conditions and, from the outset, a family. God the Father did the same thing for his Son by giving him St. Joseph and Mary as his parents on earth. Since then they have been the most perfect model of sanctity for any family. The Holy Family mirrors also the Holy Trinity.

Love is a dynamic process. It cannot be kept in any state permanently

We were born out of the love of our parents and nourished by their love. How many worries, sleepless nights, difficult spousal talks are behind them? Going through these, they together tried to discern God’s will for their children and family. In this atmosphere of love between parents we learned how to love them, our siblings and other people. Later, over the difficult period of puberty, we progressed in learning the art of giving and receiving good, and advanced on the road to unselfishness in giving. All this made us ready for marriage, for further progress in the school of love modeled on the Holy Family.

On the wedding day, the Church often gives as provisions for the road the words of St. Paul from the Hymn of Love: “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” (1 Cor 13:4-8). From the moment of the wedding until the end of our life on earth, we will have as our goal a full communion with God through advances in marital and family love. This opens up new vistas for us to multiply good. They are an effective answer to the flood of evil submerging today’s world and brutally attempting to destroy marital and family life.

The family is a battleground

In our world today, the attacks by the Evil one mount; out of hatred, he tries to destroy everything that opens up a man to love; his objective, in particular, is the destruction of the family. Being aware that marriage is a road to heaven for most people, Satan uses all available means to destroy marriages and families. This was confirmed by Sister Lucia dos Santos shortly before her death. She was one of the children to whom Our Lady revealed herself in Fatima and whose beatification process has already started. This is seen in her correspondence with Card. Caffarra. It was exchanged at the time when St. John Paul II, a great devotee of Our Lady, told Card. Caffarra to found the Pontifical Institute for the Study of Marriage and Family. We learn from the correspondence that there is a prophecy by Sister Lucia, referring to the ultimate struggle between the Lord and the kingdom of Satan. The family is a battlefield. Life and family. Cardinal Caffarra said in an interview: “Several days later, I received a very long handwritten letter – it is kept now in the Institute’s archives – which read: ‘The ultimate struggle between the Lord and kingdom of Satan will concern the family and marriage. Please, do not be afraid,’ she added, ‘because anyone who dedicates himself to the goal of preserving the sanctity of marriage and family will be torn apart and hamstrung by all means, because it is a crucial point.’ Sister Lucia went on: ‘Our Lady has already crushed his head. One had an impression, also when talking to John Paul II, that it was a central point as it affected the foundation of creation: the truth about the relationship between a man and a woman and between generations. It you upset the foundations, the whole structure falls …’.”

Unselfish gift of oneself

The sanctity of marriage and of spouses, i.e., Christ’s Love between them, is the hope of the world. Love is the first and foremost word of marriage vows. Taking the marriage oath, a person takes on love as a life task. Love is a dynamic process. It cannot be kept in any state permanently. Love that does not develop regresses. The essence of love is the unselfish giving of this which is the best. Any person who loves devotes his or her entire life to the beloved person and always wishes him or her well, also when s/he makes mistakes or does something wrong. In daily reality, to love a spouse means: to wish him or her well, do him/her good at every opportunity, uphold him/her and dress his/her wounds, soothe his/her inevitable suffering, suffer and excuse his/her mistakes, forgive his/her misdeeds, control one’s emotions and temper to avoid harming him/her, always choose this which brings you closer together and enables understanding, be clear about one’s wishes and expectations, take care of yourself as far as possible, accept good offered by him/her, be kind, warm and tender” (Fr. Stanisław Gancarek, About the Marriage Vows, Częstochowskie Wydawnictwo Archidiecezjalne Regina Poloniae).

The Eucharistic communion of both spouses is the principal source of vital strength for their love

Love is humble, but also dedicated. Without willingness to sacrifice, there is no true love. “The most pleasing to God and the most valuable for us is the sacrifice of oneself. […]. Marital love shares in the sacramental reality. No other love has such a dimension. To reveal it, it is necessary to come to know the reality of sacraments. A sacrament is a visible sign of an invisible grace. In this case, love between the spouses, as expressed in the words of the oath, is the visible sign. When motivated by this love, they enter into a sacramental marriage, their love is immersed in God’s love and united with it. Christ places then his pierced and resurrected hands on their hands bound with a stole and by the power of the Holy Spirit heals the weak, fragile, capable of betrayal and unfaithfulness human love and unites it with his love. In this way, marital love is consecrated and receives its own and unique face. This imparts to it a new quality and strength, and makes it capable of constancy, chastity, unselfishness and fidelity which does not shrink away from any sacrifice […] The sacrament of marriage makes spouses capable of such love. Working together with the grace they received, spouses can serve one another with joy and creatively overcome all difficulties while the knot tied by them only death can untie” (Fr. Stanisław Gancarek, About the Marriage Vows).

The Eucharist is the source of love

The Eucharistic communion of both spouses is the principal source of vital strength for their love. “The sacramental unification of marital love with God’s love makes spouses uniquely capable of acts of pure love, that that is of loving one another with the love of God himself. Spouses are to love one another with the love of Christ, who said: ‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you’ (John 15:12). This will not be possible without participating fully in the Eucharist which is the source of such love. In it, God’s entire love reaches us and is dispensed to us. Dear spouses […], your love united with Christ’s love can survive any and all storms and turmoil that life may bring, and produce a wonderful crop of happy family life. And if it is crucified, remember that, dying on the cross of love, you die with Christ and dying with him you cannot lose. The strength to embrace such a lifestyle can be drawn from the Holy Communion. For it is crucified Love that has overcome evil. True love is mightier than death, because it is capable of crossing its threshold. The death of a spouse unties the marital knot but does not have to mean the death of marital love. What is more, it may highlight and expand the most noble aspect of love – its spiritual dimension. From then on, love for the late spouse may be expressed only in the act of faith while its most beautiful expression is prayer” (Fr. Stanisław Gancarek, About The Marriage Vows).

A marriage lived like that will be like a cocoon for a butterfly. This is where it grows to become a flying butterfly for the glory of God. In marriage, husband and wife mature to become truly children of God, ready for the final flight to heaven where they will participate forever in God’s life in the Holy Trinity for the greater glory of God. The lifetime of marriage in God’s plans is exactly as long as it is necessary to fully ripen in the school of the Holy Family and to grow for heaven until the moment of death when we will soar in admiration into the arms of our Heavenly Father.

Source: https://loamagazine.org/archive/2017/2017-38/lovewith-christs-love

The above article was published with permission from Miłujcie się! in April 2021.

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