 |
 |
 |
|
|||
| |||
| |||
| |||
|
|
|
|
|
|
By Testimony,
From the beginning, we wanted our relationship to be built on purity. […] And how could we build our love, if not with the help of the Creator?
In the modern world, premarital purity is a difficult subject. In the past, it was obvious, and virtually no one talked about it. Today, after many years of the strong promotion of sexual promiscuity, young people are confused. Their natural sensitivity and the desire for love emerging in their hearts suggest something quite different from what the world around them does. When they hear the word “purity”, various emotions and attitudes arise in them, from acceptance and understanding, through embarrassment, to rejection and rebellion. Are we surprised and shocked? No! Now, from the perspective of two years of marriage, we can see that premarital purity cost us a lot of effort, but most of all we now see how we are still gathering its wonderful fruit, how it has strengthened our relationship and built a firm foundation for our love. Our story began four years before our wedding, at college. From the beginning, we wanted our relationship to be built on purity. After all, we both grew up in the community of the Movement of Pure Hearts. We were also both aware that sex before marriage is simply a sin, that it shuts us off from the love of God. And how could we build our love, if not with the help of the Creator? Aware of our weaknesses, we frequently went to Mass and worshipped the Lord Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. This allowed us to calm our hearts and control our bodies. Praying together has always been the foundation of our relationship. We made sure that before each parting we knelt and prayed. This strengthened our relationship, because prayer enabled us to get closer together and get to know each other better.
Purity also taught us faithfulness. Everyone wants to love and to be loved, but no one wants to be betrayed. Love is based on trust. If you decide to have sex before marriage, even with your future spouse, you need to be aware that at moments of crisis in the future marriage it will be easier to commit adultery, because you have already tasted sex with a person who is not (yet) your wife or husband. Purity teaches how to wait and allows us to build the relationship not on the spiritual, rather than physical, aspect, which cements the relationship. It’s not worth checking physical compatibility before marriage, because every man physically fits every woman. First, let us learn about our souls, to be able to learn about our bodies after the wedding. Sexual life before marriage is only to satisfy your own selfishness, and there is no question of love in it. If I love, why can’t I wait? And if I already live with my girlfriend as if she was my wife, will I be motivated to ask her to be my wife and marry her? Love is responsibility; I must be aware of the consequences of my actions. First I must take care of the beloved one, ensure her safety. Can a girl feel safe with a boyfriend who’s just waiting for her weakness to be able to start sex with her? And this raises a very important question. Am I aware that sex involves the possibility of conceiving a child? You cannot separate these two things, and no method of contraception is 100 per cent effective. Am I ready to become a parent and take responsibility for supporting a family? We had always dreamed of a large family, a house with a garden, children hanging from our necks. But we also knew that these things would come in due time. We didn’t want our child to be conceived with a sense of fear and lack of acceptance, but to be a long-awaited happiness. Sexual intercourse complements love, but only within marriage, because then it takes place in full acceptance and mutual openness. Sex before marriage is a very strong incentive, which causes people to shut themselves to the opportunity of getting to know each other and to focus exclusively on the body. And the time before marriage is a time for building the relationship and for mutual understanding. And what better way to learn about each other than by spending time together in creative ways? If you love, you want to surprise the other person, to keep giving. You want your beloved one to feel good with you. For us, our time of going out and then the time of our engagement abounded in such creative love. To this day, we have a huge box full of letters, love notes and cards with kind words or confessions: “I love you”. Reading them is a great way to spend an evening together, with hot chocolate by candlelight. Travelling together, studying, walking, cycling and even cooking — these are just a few ways to get to know each other and build love. Purity is not an easy road. You have to choose it every day again and again. That we persevered in purity till the wedding day is a huge grace of God. God gives us strength and helps us to persevere on this journey. God is love itself, and He wants our happiness. We are His beloved children. Stick to purity! Iga and Konrad Grzybowski Source: https://loamagazine.org/archive/2016/2016-36/stick-to-purity The above article was published with permission from Miłujcie się! in September 2020.
Read more Christian articles (English)
Recommend this page to your friend!
|
|
|
|
|
|
