Now, after twenty years of marriage, I can see the terrible havoc our sin wreaked on our family. For years we have been reaping the bitter fruits of not having striven for purity before marriage.

Our problems with our children started in their first years of grade school. Although they were quite gifted, they suffered from all kinds of emotional problems. When they got older, they got involved in Satanism and the occult. A sense of the absurdity of life took hold of them. Attempts at suicide followed. They tried to run away from home. Fear and depression haunted them. God only knows how we all suffered!

Yet throughout our family drama I remained in God’s presence. I clung to God as well as I could. In fact, it was God who kept me alive because in such situations you become quite helpless. My husband blamed me for the whole mess because, as he put it, he was the one that was working hard and making money; it was my responsibility to bring up the children correctly. Conflicts arose between us; I thought I would come to hate my husband. Feeling utterly helpless, I went down on my knees, wept, and begged God to give me His love because I wished to love but had no love left in me.

Praise God, my prayers have been answered. I feel immensely grateful to God for His help. He has given me a breathing space and I have experienced tangible signs of His great love and tender care. Truly, I have benefited from this endless source of love. God has also been working through people, who, like Simon of Cyrene, have helped me to bear my heavy cross. May God bless them.

Since I realized the root cause of our family problems (lack of love), I have begged God’s pardon and asked Him to release us from our enslavement – to heal us from the effects of our sin. Thanks to Him we now make love in accordance with His Law. We invite the Holy Spirit into our lovemaking so that He can be with us and protect and sanctify us. For months my husband and I have been praying to God to assuage our family pain and help us regain our parental authority. We want His help to make our home a warm place. A place where our children can feel safe and loved. A place they do not wish to run away from. I know that our sin has wrought great harm on our marriage,   our children and other people.

Once again, I wish to express my wholehearted sorrow to them and to Jesus. May this letter serve as a warning (especially to young people) against the sin of impurity. I hope this letter will make restitution (at least in part) for our sin. Amen. Jesus, I trust in You.